Change ... not on my list of my favorite things

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings .... sure, those could make my list, but CHANGE, not so much.

Things are changing around here. The more I try to resist it, the more change there is. Some are "good" changes ... except that I do NOT like any change. Oh, I already made that clear? Ok then, we can move on.

The biggest change: The final verdict is in. We will not be homeschooling for the 2009-2010 schoolyear. First I typed, "this will be our last year to homeschool", but then I remembered that I once twice said multiple times that we would never homeschool ... that I could never homeschool. And yet we did. We have homeschooled for two years. They have been an amazing two years. Two years that have blessed me beyond description. I can't say this will be our last year because I don't know what the future brings.

I have regretted my children's early years in so many ways. Mine were the kids that were there when the daycare opened and were picked up when the daycare was closing for too many years. That's the way it was done. That's what all my friends from work did with their kids. What else can you do when you work a Monday through Friday 8-5 job? My kids seemed fine. I was fine and that's how I grew up. I can honestly say I thought of it as normal.

Soon I decided to go back to school. Those were *busy* years. My kids were loved but neglected all the more. Once I graduated, things slowly came into perspective. My kids no longer had to go to daycare after school. I could work nights and be there for them. What a blessing. Then I realized I could send them to a small Christian school in our area that only required them to be there three days a week and I could be with them even more. Even more of a blessing. That was a great year. I realized that year through much prayer that I had the opportunity to allow God to "restore the years that the swarming locusts had eaten" (Joel 2:25). I thought I might be going crazy as the thought of homeschooling seemed more and more reasonable to me. Prayer convinced me it wasn't craziness. It was submission to His will for us in that season.

Looking back, His timing couldn't have been more perfect.

These two years have restored our family. We are closer to eachother and to God. We are happier. We are blessed and we know it.

It's time for this change. I cannot run on 4 hours of sleep (on a good day) for much longer. I want to ... oh, how I want to .... but it's time. I have spent two years trying to figure out (financially) how to quit my job. It's not going to happen ... not in this season.

My kids deserve teachers that aren't tired and cranky. My kids deserve to be able to go on fieldtrips (we can never go on the homeschool fieldtrips we are invited to because we barely keep up with the school load due to my work/sleep schedule). My kids deserve a lot that I can't give them in this season. I know that. I hate it but I know it.

I know there are seasons in life. I know change comes. I accept it. I do.

It doesn't mean I'm not sad. I will miss my kids being here every minute. I will miss so much. And let's face it, I am not looking forward to other people making our assignments. ugh :)

The kids are going back to that three day a week school that we loved so dearly. It is a NAUMS school. We loved the program. It will be a perfect balance of school and home. Of that I am confident. They will be home with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will be able to arrange my work schedule so that everyday that they are home with me I will be awake and happy. Imagine that.

It is time for a new season.

Please join me in prayer for my family as we make this adjustment.